I get it, you can quit reminding me, quit reprimanding me, quit threatening me. The new year started exactly 18 days ago and yet, here I am, encouraging my fingers to sprint across the keyboard in fear of absolutely nothing. Like any other human being, I too, have prepared a list of tasks I wish to accomplish within the span of 365 days...even though it's very unlikely possible.

1. Be happier.
I can bet my iphone and vital organs that these two words have been engraved on every single person' list of resolutions at least once, and this isn't wrong. As human beings, it's in our nature to want to be in high spirits and posses good moods. Ways to do this are to be more positive. I know that it isn't as easy as it sounds, but it can be if you firmly deem it possible. Don't think about everything in such a negative light, for everything happens for a reason. Understand that everything won't go in whatever direction you wish for it to. Forgive those who have wronged you and bury the past.

2. Respect my parents.
Like every teenager, I too often time lose my temper. Whenever anything goes wrong or my mother just asks a question, I snap at her, tell her that I don't want to talk only to be reprimanded for being disrespectful. Why must we repeat this vicious cycle every single day? Quit being so grumpy. Your parents could be so much harsher on you. For god's sake, if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't even have a WiFi connection. Ponder that and quickly resort to tears.

4. Quit gossiping.
Nobody is perfect. People lie, cheat, steal, and gossip. I am a victim of this fault. As a female and of Pakistani-Indian descent, it's basically in my genetics to breed gossip. But it's time I resist. Even though he dresses like a homeless man, even though she lies to her parents every day, and even though they sneak out to do hookah every Thursday night (it's just an example, but feel guilty anyway), I'm in no place to judge. You'll only start living your life when you quit scrutinizing others for what they do in theirs.

5. Make new friends.
Meeting new people is one of the many cost less joys in life. It always amuses me to greet people with such distinct personalities, backgrounds, goals and behaviors. Their quirky habits, deformities, music choice, beliefs, religion, the way they think: these are all things that are worth observing and accepting that make life the joy ride it should be.

6. Exersize more.
Oh, c'mon. You knew that this one was coming. Although I've been lacking in this department until recently, it's been proven that physical excerize is the key to hormone balance, clear skin, flow of blood to the brain and so many more things. Excersizing will give you extreme confidence, keep your healthy and stimulated and serve as a distraction to life's other problems, including understanding why McDonald's doesn't deliver.

7. Try new things.
This resolution can be applied in all different types of cases. For example, I've never tried sushi because it looks absolutely revolting and smells like body odor. But you know what, I'll try it this year. Because maybe, just maybe, I may fall in love with it and it could potentially become my favorite food. Remember that you'll never for sure know about something until you experience it.

8. Document more, write more, sketch more, film more.
For those of you who personally know me, you'll quickly understand that I love film. I love to write stories, sketch and boss others around. Obviously film, art and literature aren't potential career options, but I like to think that they serve as a creative outlet, a getaway. I find fascination with these aspects because they are all things to look back on and practically re-live.

As of now, these are my new year's resolutions. Feel free to share yours with me, but I will most likely not care.

It's everywhere. Today we dwell in a generation where cutting, drugs, depression, alcohol, anorexia, depression and cursing are no longer surprising to witness, or worse, experience. Nowadays, the amount of young girls, even around the mere age of only twelve years old who slit their wrists in an attempt to "push the pain away" is absolutely ridiculous. This temporary cure should not, under no circumstances, be as widespread as it is today. So what if your friend ignored you in third period? So what if no boys like you and whats the big hoopla if your parents never find time to sip apple juice and watch reruns of old Disney movies with you? Your world is not over. Nowadays, self-harm is publicized on every social media outlet plausible. From Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, no matter what it may be, it is not okay. Just because every other mindless being does it does not mean you should "give it a go". You are not anorexic because you weigh 125 pounds and are trying to cut to 120. Anorexia Nervosa is a real disease, believe it or not, and to have anorexia means possessing a disorder in which "Persons may have an intense fear of weight gain, even when they are underweight. They may diet or exercise too much or use other ways to lose weight." You are not depressed if you drew a "frowny" face on the upper right corner and felt sad and possibly queasy today. 

Depression is an actual clinical disorder is which "severe despondency and dejection, typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy." I could go on and on about this type of issue, but instead, I'll share a life changing experience. 

Last summer, I volunteered at a mental health clinic, where a rough 95% of the clients there were on probation or parole, homeless, or lived on food stamps. My job was simple: staple papers, share corny jokes with the jolly clerk, wash dirty dishes in the staff lunchroom and occasionally, give "vitals". The process of giving vitals involved snapping on a pair of latex gloves, asking the patient about their medications, filling out a short survey per patient, taking their blood pressure, weighing them then kindly leading them to the door. My day, that one summer, was going just as usual: I woke up late, had half a cup of coffee for breakfast and was fumbling with my fingernails when the medical technician (whose name I refuse to take) asked me to give vitals to a man while she headed to a meeting. I happily agreed, glad to have something to do after the clerk began fake laughing at my never ending supply of rather nerdy jokes. I remember when that man walked up to the glass wall when my lips spoke into the microphone. I opened the door, greeted by a tall, tan-skinned male with tattoos scattered all up along his arms and cheekbones. I wasn't too surprised, for I had grown accustomed to the rather untidy appearance and unique smell of the clients. But this man, he was different. When he took a seat, I noticed his wretched features, he was crying. I greeted him a few times, which he dismissed with a barely audible response. I noticed he was shivered. Being the extremely awkward, small-fruit-for-a-brain person I am, I continued to ask him about his day, which he ignored. I was confused.Growing up in a rather secluded environment my entire life, being exposed to such a thing bought sincere confusion. I looked for my superiors, unsure of how to approach him. I realized that I was scared of him, I didn't know what to do. He was shivering, shaking, crying and avoiding eye contact. I brushed it off and continued with the vital procedure until I noticed something upon taking his arm for blood pressure. He had cuts, all bloody and perfectly aligned on both his arms, down from the elbows. My first instinct was to cry. I had no idea what to do. Should I comfort him? Tell him that everything's alright and that it's going to be okay? But no... What if he went on a rampage and punched me in the nose? I decided against it and realized it was none of my business. As he walked out the door, I ran to the bathroom and I'll admit it, cried. What could have happened so horrible, that he, a young man about only 22 years old would do such a thing to his own body? A common misconception about cutting: the scars never fade. They'll sit there and remind you of the most vulnerable stage of your life, and all you can do is hopelessly stare back and hate yourself even more. I say this not out of anger, but out of reality. 

Whatever the issue may be, remember that THERE IS A CURE. If you have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep on and clean running water, you are automatically richer than 75% of the world's population. Ponder that. Don't do something permanent to cure something temporary, you don't own all the struggles in the world, I promise. 

Pet Peeves, otherwise known as occurrences which make you want to snag your very own hair from its roots, are very normal. Whatever they may be, everyone does them, including myself. Although I may not always realize it, I am a victim of my own pet peeves. 

My Pet Peeves

1. When People leave the door open after leaving a room. 
Like, if it was closed when you walked in....just, why? 

2. When people touch the glass at Subway. 
You know exactly what I am talking about. You know when they want pickles or Banana Peppers or something of that sort and even though the employee heard them, they feel the need to  pick up there disgusting fingers and repeatedly point though the glass.

3. Conversation Intruders. 
Otherwise known as the most annoying people on the planet, these people do not get a hint. If two people are having a very sentimental discussion, out of everyone in the room, they feel the need to sit themselves in front of those two people and stare at them until they finally decide to acknowledge their unwanted presence.  

4. When people touch your face. 
Even when joking around, people who touch your face, whatever the reason may be: to slap you or to pick your nose (no judgements!), these people do not get the grip. Let me sum it down for you: Get your paws off my face. You can look, but don't you dare touch. 


5. When people hit, or tickle as a greeting.
This is by far the most irritating thing ever. Why must you abuse me so that I may know that you've arrived? There are countless amounts of ways to greet one other: whistle, bark, wave, gangnam style, do what ever you like, just please, please, please, do not touch or tickle me, because if you do, you will die. 

6. When someone finds the need to repeat the same exact joke every five seconds. 
The first time it's funny, but it isn't even THAT funny that you find the need to repeat it for what feels like the hundredth time. 

7. When people are unnecessarily rude.
I'm the biggest victim of this one because I always feel the need to make comments or statements that I find bloody hilarious, and even If I offend someone, I am oblivious to it until five minutes later. "Was that sarcastic comment seriously funny?" I ask myself, even know I secretly know that it was HILARIOUS. 

It happens to everyone, everywhere. Whether you may be a saint or a sinner, you have committed the act of jealousy. 
What is jealousy? Jelousy is the emotion or feeling of simply wanting what someone else has, whatever it may be. For decades, this word has held a negative connotation and has been frowned upon. But today, I'm here to tell you that jealously is a natural emotion which, whether you believe it or not, can be surmounted. 
We are all jealous of different things. For example, I may be jealous of the significant other of a celebrity, while my mother may be jealous of her friend's new crockpot...It works it's own ways. There are numerous amounts of things one can be jealous of: objects, abilities, personality traits, tendencies, positions and even commitments. 
To be honest, I posses huge issues with the topic of jealousy is discussed. I often tend to compare myself to another people and to the things they may have. I always think of way I could use a product or ability to greater potential, had that trait or even object been mine. My jealousy has never driven me to the point where I despise others, but rather lingers in the back of my mind and pays a unfortunate visit from time to time. I'm still finding ways to overcome this tendency, but sometimes I can never help myself. I've tried everything: I've sat myself down and tried to convince myself out of it. I've tried to console myself into understanding that everyone has their own gifts and talents and to continue to wish I had more than that allotted to me would be simply selfish. It would be a spit to the face to the one who gifted me with these talents. After all this thinking, I went for a walk the other day, observing nature, then, it hit me.
It could be that somewhere, someone is jealous of me or my abilities. People will always be jealous of others. In order to overcome this, we must all realize that our unique behaviors and talents are what help us work to the best we can be. Instead of always focusing on myself, I should take time to  appreciate others gifts and how they can use them and how if ever combined, we could build an excellent team and go on to achieve greater things. 
So if your shoes are caught in such a predicament, remember that whatever you have and whatever you do, is for the betterment of yourself and those around you. Everything happens a reason, and although yup may currently be baffled at what this twisted reason could be, remember that time heals all wounds, however deep they may be. 

There will come a time in your life when you realize that all this time, you have been wrong about someone. Where through two to three encounters with a person and you've already decided every thing about them. Today I'm here to tell you that if you've ever done this, you've been truly wrong. 

For the past six years of my life, I've distanced myself from my grandparents. Whenever I'd come home and see them in the kitchen, in the living room or even on the computer, I would just mumble a quaint hello and go on with my life. To me, they were never really people who I took time to get to know. Thoughts like "there's a major age gap between us" or "they'll never understand my problems" kept me away from them. Every time I considered starting up a conversation, the little voice in my head told me that I had too much work to do, or that we had nothing to talk about. For years it went on like this. Occasionally I found time for an awkward hug or "How was your day" between mouthfulls, but never in a million years did it occur to me that these two were actual people with great stories and memories to share over biscuits and tea. To this day it embarrasses me to think that I know more about actual strangers than people whom I've shared a fridge with for as long as I can imagine. Today, for the first time in what feels like forever, I had an actual conversation with my grandfather, and to my great surprise, it actually lasted for more than thirty seconds. I can't believe that to this day, I was missing out on such an intellectual, funny and sweet human being. Oh the things we talked about, my mouth actually hurts from smiling for so long. When things got a bit serious in our conversation, I asked him a question. 


"Are you afraid of death?" I asked. 

He took a minute to answer, most likely caught off guard by the question. 

"The one that is afraid of death isn't afraid  of death itself, but is afraid of what comes after it". He responded, complacent with his response. 

I unexpectedly got teary, and literally felt my heart break into two pieces. I'm still unsure to as of why. He switched the topic and begin rambling about how obnoxious I was as a child. When he noticed the pencil still in my hand and the empty sheet before me, he stopped. 

"I'll leave you to your work. Thank you for talking to me. Now I will go and have some milk, pray and fall sound asleep, and you will finish your work. Twelve days will go by like this then I will head off to Pakistan and you will forget about me". 

This caught me off gaurd. Is this what he thought I wanted? I never really seemed to notice him, always thinking about one thing or the other. It never occurred to me that maybe sometimes he too, wanted to talk to me but was shot down when he saw me get back tired from school. 

"I'll never forget about you" I responded. 






And that was a promise. 

There comes a time in our lives where we lose everything. Nobody appreciates us, our grades are dropping, our friends no longer seem to care and our parents continue to buy healthy cereals. This period of anger, frustration confusion and depression is otherwise known as rock bottom. Through this period of time, no amount of hugs can cure our bitterness and no tub of ice cream, (except maybe Double Fudge Brownie) can mend our broken hearts. This illusion that nothing with ever be okay again that causes us to dwell on the minsfourtune that comes with being ourselves aids us in the realization that we are all human. We won't always win, we won't always have the clearest or fairest skin and we may not weigh the size of a Kit Kat. The best way to deal with this dilemma is to realize that you are a person of importance. If you no longer remained, so many things in this world would be different. For example, the population, the amount of people in your family, the kids in your class. Never underestimate the power of one. Believe in your strengths and abilities, because you have a gift. A gift that no one can replace, no matter what it may be. Maybe you are a highly talented singer, or you can burp "Yesterday" (including high notes). Perhaps you can stick your tongue to the bridge of your nose (hey, no judgements), or maybe you posses the ability to solve thirty mathematical equations in 5 minutes. It's whatevs. 

The point is, every one is talented in every way. Never forget that. 

Whenever you have a problem, perhaps a bad grade, an altercation with a friend or even cheating on your diet, remember that everything will be okay. Trust me when I say that there are thousands of others a few miles away fighting for their lives, hooked up to a monitor and releasing their last breaths. Never take your life for granted and remember that the few issues we face in our daily lives do not--by no means predict the end of the world. Never do I ever wish to hear a complaint because halfway across the world there are mothers watching their children die in their arms with pains a tablet of Tylenol could cure. There is a young boy learning to aim a shotgun for the purpose of defending those dear to him. There is a young girl by her mothers bedside drowning in her tears and regretting every second of her lifespan she didn't care to spend with her. 

From this day on, there is no predicament you cannot dissolve. Follow the direction of your dreams and strive to do good. This is a promise to yourself that you must keep. You must always inflict gratitude, even when confronted with evil and unfortunate. Although you may be too young to know too much about life, understand that you posses the power to face it. Love everyone and do what brings satisfaction to your soul. Your purpose in life is to work to your highest potential and surmount all obstacles that stand in your way. Drop all distractions and make something out of yourself. Don't die as a follower, die as a leader. Contribute to this world on a global scale, but remember to start with the organ pumping within you---your heart. You may be young, but you can make a difference. Do it for humanity. Most importantly, do it for yourself. 

Sometimes, It's okay. It's okay to eat Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream straight out of the tub. It's okay to have a zit the size of a tomato sprouting off your left cheek. It's perfectly fine not to weigh the size of a grape, and it is totally acceptable to have hyperactive tendencies that cause you to burst of energy every three minutes. These instances, which may often appear irregular or particularly odd, make us who we are. They depict that being different, having awkward tastes in music and dipping French fries in ice cream are not characteristics to be deeply ashamed of, rather characteristics to embrace. Our quirky habits and shy personalities are what make us all different--- individual beings beings with each individual interests, habits and tastes. What kind of dull, morose world would we dwell in if we failed to acknowledge originality? It would definitely be a world void of color, persona, variety and difference. A world I would rather die then accept. 

Dearest chinchillas, 

Let's start off with a hello. My name is Duriba. I like to sketch (even though I seriously can't to save my life), write, eat high calorie foods and do basically anything that doesn't involve getting up. I've started this blog in means to keep a fair account of my life. It is merely to watch myself grow as a writer, to rant about whatever arises in my mind and to voice my opinions on political, social and daily issues. I will not post regularly and do not expect much feedback. I will simply post whenever and whatever I desire about my everyday occurrences or conflicts. I will also post my past pieces written for school papers, advice columns or essay competitions. I do affirm copyright on everything I post unless stated.

Ok, WOW. Was that formal! Anyway, I'm pretty sure you get the point.  Hopefully I won't ever have to post anything that sophisticated or stern. This is where I will post musings, rants, photographs and practically anything I find interesting. If you are bored enough, you can keep up with my life and everyday things that go on in it. As stated above, I won't be posting regularly as I have priorities and schoolwork to complete. This whole blogging thing is simply a lax hobby I will pursue when I have seriously nothing to do, because none of you are as important to me as an APUSH Report. I hope that little statement there boosts your self esteem to the maximum. 

Happy Reading, 
BeingDuriba