I really have changed.
*Cue sad piano music and scene of me brushing my hair in front of a vanity with a single tear rolling down my cheek*
Oh my, guys. My first semester of college is basically halfway over, and I don’t know how to feel. SO much has changed (did I mention I’m driving now?!?!), and in all honestly, I’ve changed. A lot.
There is an aura of difference in the air. Suddenly, my priorities have flipped flopped, and looking back at the lists of things I wanted to accomplish in college I made in sparkly gel pen over the summer, I can’t relate.
So, from student government elections, legal orgs, drivers Ed, and friendship and heartbreak …..here’s what you missed!!
1. REJECTION, REJECTION, REJECTION.
For the first time of my life, I’ve been rejected by six things in a row! It’s WiLd!!!!!! From student government to an improv troupe, it feels like every single thing I’ve known about myself has been only an illusion. Although at first it was tough, I’m starting to embrace the fact that this isn’t high school anymore. There are people who are into the same things as you, and boy, do they kick your butt at it.
2. How to deal with rejection.
Yes, you’re allowed to cry on the Metro ride home while a hobo stares you down. You can TOTALLY ugly cry in the bathtub and you can ask yourself “Why not me?” a million times. But eventually, the neighbors ‘gon complain about the dreadful noise, honey. Eventually, the hobo will try and comfort you.
And then everything will just be weird, and you don’t want that. So after a day of mourning, dust yourself off. Tell yourself no matter what happens, you tried your best. And well, if your best wasn’t good enough, the standards are just different. You can change that. Just work hard, play hard, and don’t be salty (because let’s face it, no one likes a crybaby).
3. You have to be yourself, no matter what.
Throughout this entire journey of self revelation, you are all you have in life. You are the only person you can count on, so be a good friend to yourself. Because you can change the way you dress for a boy, you can curl your eyelashes, and you can pretend to be things you aren’t, but that will ALWAYS do more harm than good. It’s cliche, I know, but don’t change yourself for ANYONE. If someone really loves you, they will ALWAYS accept and prioritize you. Someday, you will have to walk away, and not care if they chase you.
4. You learn who your true friends are.
In college, you rarely have time to see your face in the mirror, let alone your friends. That’s why you need to make sure everyone in your circle is there because you WANT them to be. Life’s too short for fake friends and fake cheese. Looking back to my most recent post about college, I can't help but snicker loudly. My, has everything totally changed. But I'm glad it did. It had to.
5. Take one day at a time.
Last but not least, remember that it’s important you take every day one by one. You will only overwhelm yourself if you get too caught up in the big picture, so breathe a little.
If I can do it, you can do it!!! LESSGO RANIS!!