And boy oh boy, has a whole lot happened since then.
Not only did I finish the aforementioned program ages ago, I finished the last fall semester of my undergraduate career EVER. It feels so surreal to say it with the little voice in my head and to type it out (If you’re confused right now: I decided to graduate a year early).
This past semester has been interesting, to say the least.
Not only did I move into an apartment on my college campus, but I took the Law School Admission Test (LSAT) after a very intense three month training program. This past semester was the hardest of my life because it severely tested me on a spiritual, mental, and physical level. Now did I pass those tests? Honestly, no. I neglected my physical health by building my appetite around frozen pizzas (at least they were organic!), San Pellegrino, pumpkin spice lattes, and the occasional carrot/apple/cheese stick to feel better about myself. I had more mental breakdowns than workouts, and stressed more than I slept. To summarize, this entire semester I was constantly tired, moody, and overall, not a ray of sunshine (for the lack of a better term).
But despite all the ups and downs, I learned a lot about myself and got to experience sharing my living space with a whole nother amazing human being. I also got to grocery shop for myself (crazy!), stay at the library as late as I wanted, spend long nights with friends in twenty four hour coffee shops, and experience things like jogging to the capital to see the sun rise. I also discovered Trader Joe's (the love of my life) and got to test myself in unique ways. For example, can I manage to make a sandwich with pasta sauce and peanut butter? YOU BET I CAN!
All jokes aside, this semester also taught me that I need social interaction to validate myself; if I spend too much time seeing the same people and doing the same things, I feel unsatisfied and empty. This realization helped me better understand myself, although the way I had to learn it was painful.
Additionally, this semester taught me the importance of prioritizing myself and how to push myself to my limit..and most importantly, when to stop.
The truth is that life sucks sometimes. It has to: if this life was supposed to be perfect, there would be no point to heaven. These emotional low points are necessary for our growth and survival and if we are able to work through them, we are rewarded with the fruit of our labors: getting into grad school, that shiny diploma, a better life, or even a chai latte. And if it doesn’t work out, it’s perfectly fine: maybe that thing you wanted so bad wasn’t good for you in the long run.
So whatever it is you’re going through, I promise that it will pass and one day you’ll look back on the days you struggled and realize that all that suffering was worth it..or at least that's what I keep telling myself.