It’s almost the beginning of the end.
It’s the word my curious freshman ears perk up to hear, the moment I’ve waited for through every midterm, all-nighter, FaceTime call to decipher ATP synthase, and random breakdown. It's the fleshing of the old to make way for the new, it’s new friends, new memories, new lists of things I shouldn’t have done, new fads...
It’s almost graduation.
And it is bittersweet.
Looking back, I expected to have sorted a lot more out by now. Instead, I still don’t know where I’m going for college. My bedroom is a mess, and I have an ugly haircut. But my hair will grow out and I can clean my bedroom. I’m not sure what to do about the college thing.
Wherever I end up, it will certainly be far from my little private high school. This implies leaving a world behind, a world that I will forever keep in me. A world where, no matter what four corners surround me, there are no strangers. Where I can speak my mind, and understand everyone’s facial expressions. Where I fell in and, sometimes, out of love with all of my classmates, teachers, secretaries, children, and custodians. A world that can only be described as home.
Although home is where the heart is, the body is in foreign, no man’s land. The body finds itself like “wth man i hate dis,” because it is afraid. It has no idea what the future holds, and is still deciding if it wants to find out.
So know that the future is unknown, and the ones who are strong, playful, and curious enough to accept this will find themselves complacent. The rest will be too busy calculating their next moves to make a living, that they will forget to make a life.