I attempted to give myself side bangs on New Year’s, then sneezed in the instance I decided to cut. Super spunky, I’d say.
Zayn Malik left One Direction.
I went to a dholki and Sheila Ki Jawani came on in the presence of that one Aunty with the cheetah print phone case, sickly red lipstick, and 5 kids.
I studied really hard for a Physics exam and taught my Iron Man action figure and fake plant named Shanti all there is to know about Free body diagrams, but flopped once again.
I made a friend who didn’t even want to be my friend.
I was watching a Snapchat and laughed so hard I spilled granola and milk all over my phone, pajamas, and Mother’s fabric couch.
I cried in the shower. And then Pandora belted “Disco Dancer”, so I started dancing and slipped and dropped a bottle of shampoo on my foot.
Call it what you want: kismet, bad luck, or just a sucky life. The journey that is my life is oozing with happenings I’m not exactly fond of. Some of them skookum and others terrible, but at the end of the day I’m well and alive and that’s what matters.
Now, you definitely aren’t Beyonce, so you have problems and probably get unhappy a lot. Below is my list of way you can flip your hair (or hijab) and fix yo’ self, honey.
Find a hobby.
Pick something up that you thoroughly enjoy: something that has the capability to distract you for hours, keep you entertained and engaged, and something that is really just fun for you. Whether it be painting, photography, poetry, or cleaning...you need to find your bliss (as in the words of guru Joseph Campbell).
But you don’t like writing, and that’s cool. Make a list. Keep track of your life, so one day you can flip through your agenda, sketchbook, or doodle pad and participate in a roller coaster of emotion. Relive dull moments through your words, interesting quotes you may have scribbled, or just sketches of random strangers you drew at Starbucks.
You might click your lock screen button or slam your laptop shut now, but there there, tiger buddy. You have to exercise, as much as you hate it. Take a stroll around your neighborhood, ft. puffy pooch and The Black eyed Peas. Do a little yoga, and make sure you stretch, stretch, stretch!
4. Decide on your favorite ___________.
You have to know yourself better than anyone. Wonder, “who am I?” and form personal, honest, opinions about things. Give yourself an identity, and make sure you stay genuine. Write your favorite things anywhere: the back of a Hillary Duff album cover from 2005, a journal, or your Dad’s resume. For example, list your favorite foods, authors, books, and people so you have an almost instant therapy list for the days you step in dog poo and your Starbucks rewards expire.
5. Be wise with your time.
No matter what you’re doing: sleeping, trying to balance a lipstick on your nose, or developing the cure to cancer, the clock is ticking. Don’t give peasants your time, as it is your most valuable heirloom. Don’t spend too much time talking to someone who you can’t benefit from: perhaps a draining and “toxic” friend, a nagging Aunt, or a random guy on Times Square who insists you and your sister are the Kardashian sisters. If you really know me, you have figured out by now that I am really bothered by superficial conversation. Let’s get past the “how are yous?” and “Where did you get your top from?”, and straight into the “the world is ending tomorrow, what will you do for yourself and why?”.
6. Be okay with yourself.
I can’t stress how important it is for you to be comfortable in your own skin. A confession: although I catch myself doing this all the time, I hate when people ramble on and on about their weaknesses and faults. I can pepper you with a few compliments and assure you that your haircut isn’t as bad as Miley’s, but I can’t fix you. I can help you believe in yourself, but not if you don’t want to. I’m like 12 ok. I can’t mend your bones, as much as I love you.
So now, pick up the shampoo bottle off your foot and embrace your acne. Dance like nobody’s watching.Take that fashion risk. Don’t succumb to social norms you don’t like. Pray on time.
The night is still younger than that Aunty at the dholki thinks she is.