Things I Absolutely CANNOT Stand

I have dwelled on this character of a planet for seventeen years now, so I take it I posses some sort of experience in terms of the ins and outs of life.. In differing terms, I have ridden rainbows and drowned in puddles, I have healed and broken, and I have loved and lost. People have disquieted me, I have seen and heard things most do not prefer hearing, and most crucially, I have compiled a list to share with this mammoth cosmos. 

It follows as such...

1. When people make fun of mentally handicapped people. This includes the use of words such as “retard” on a daily basis.
2. Sexist jokes. Please, shut up and resort to repeatedly dunking your head in a toilet. 
3. When people cuddle me against my will.
4. The smell of every Desi household.
5. Girls who exaggeratedly pout in pictures.
6. Touching bathroom door handles.
7. “Are you like, a hipster?”
8. Long, unpainted fingernails.
9. Watching not-horror movies at parties/sleepovers.
10. Overcomplicated nail art.
11. When people resort to using physical appearances to serve as insults. 
12. Tipping waiters who make no effort whatsoever.
13. When people tell me to smile.
14. Hypocrisy.
15. People touching my laundry without my consent.
16. An unnecessary amount of cursing. 
17. Androids.
18. Guy who are obsessed with basketball shoes.
19. One ply toilet paper.
20. The 20% battery remaining notification. 
21. Carbonated water.
22. Ugly memes.
23. Zoos.
24. Emails from Collegeboard.
25. When people annoy me about liking Starbucks. 
26. When people text while I’m talking to them.
27. Cigarette smoke.
28. Dry Lips.
29. Sleeping with socks.
30. People who complain about their weight yet make no effort to exercise or eat properly.
31. The universal admiration of only select animals.
32. Touching raw chicken.
33. Texting.
34. Gossip.
35. Those who pass judgement.
36. Goody goods.
37. Ping pong.
38. People going through my camera roll. 
39. Any media coverage on the Kardashians.
40. People who complain too much.
41. PDA.
42. Soap operas.
43. The concept of stinginess.
44. When people touch the glass at Subway. GOD DANG YOUR BANANA PEPPERS.
45. The middle back seat of cars.
46. Salman Khan trying to be Sharukh Khan.
47. Cynics/negative people.
48. Throwing away food.
49. Ballet flats.
50. Dramatic/overly emotional people.
51. When people replay the same Vine more than five times.
52. Brooming the kitchen floor.
53. Leaving Bath and Body Works without some tropical-scented fruit soap.
54. Inserting batteries.

So there, world, lies my compilation of things you should do in the event that you want me to light my head on fire. What ticks you off?